4 Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Private Adoption Journey

Private adoption can be stressful—but there are several steps you can take to reduce the overwhelm and actually enjoy the journey! Below are four stress-reducing strategies that helped us.

Have other tips to add? I’d love to hear them—just shoot me a message!

1. Stay Organized

It’s no secret that adoption comes with a ton of paperwork, contacts, and contracts. Staying organized is essential—digitally and physically.

Here’s what worked for us:

• We kept a physical folder for hard copies of important documents, receipts (for tax purposes), and notes.

• We also created a shared digital folder (Google Drive or Dropbox are great options) where both my husband and I stored adoption-related files.

This gave us peace of mind and kept everything in two easy-to-access places—especially important since we weren’t working with an agency to manage files for us.

2. Write Out Your Plan for Matching

Self-matching can get overwhelming fast. Between profile vendors, matching sites, Facebook groups, and your own social media—it’s a lot to keep track of!

Here’s what I recommend:

• Make a list of all the self-matching strategies you want to try.

• Prioritize them based on what fits your time, energy, and lifestyle.

For example:

• If you want to be hands-on, creating and managing your own social media pages might be a great fit.

• If you’d rather let others help get your profile seen, private matching sites could be worth exploring.

As you go, work through your list. This gives structure to your process and helps avoid the overwhelm of trying to do everything at once.

3. Schedule Reviews

Every few weeks, take time to review your adoption journey and matching efforts. A bi-monthly or quarterly review can help you reflect and reset.

Ask yourself:

• What am I spending the most time on?

• Have any expectant moms reached out?

• What’s draining my energy?

• What’s working—and what’s not?

This reflection helps you shift your time and energy where it matters most, and reminds you that you’re making progress, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

4. Stick to Your Norms

Adoption is life-changing—and with that comes stress. But keeping parts of your life normal can help ground you in the chaos.

Yes, you might be spending extra time on social media outreach or paperwork. But make sure you're still:

• Protecting family time

• Sticking to routines

• Doing things that bring you joy and peace

Creating a schedule that balances adoption-related tasks with your usual life rhythms will help you avoid burnout—especially if you already have children in your home.

You’ve Got This

Adoption is a journey full of highs, lows, waiting, and wonder. Stress may be part of it, but with the right tools and mindset, you can minimize the overwhelm and truly enjoy the process of growing your family.

If you're trying to pursue private adoption, check out my private adoption checklist to plan out your steps!